Since I began writing this Blog, I have developed this obsessive habit of being hyper-attentive to epiphanies that occur to me as I live life — a powerful story, a humorous event, a profound quote, a theological nugget, or just a mere nothing that amplifies that still, small Voice. Then I jot my thoughts down on napkins or business cards wrinkled in my wallet in order to later retrieve them and weave these treasures into a post.
The unexpected gift of this new awareness is that it has made me keenly alert to signs of God’s wisdom at work all around me all the time. I am ever more confirmed in believing the good teacher is always first the best learner.
I was speaking on the phone yesterday with a woman whose mother has, in her old age, become disabled and suffers from severe dementia. A year ago, this woman was agonizing over how to care for her Mom (she has several kids and she works one-and-a-half full time jobs), as her siblings were washing their hands clean of any responsibility. I had not spoken with this woman in a year, so my first question was about her Mom. Her reply was worth noting on a napkin.
I have to tell you. After months of agonizing over it, one night I just fell down on the floor in my bedroom before God and said, “Lord, you have to take care of this; I give up. You know I love my Mom and would do anything for her, but I don’t have strength to care for her and she would be crushed to go into an institution. My Mom is your daughter: please, please take care of her.
The next morning I got a call from my Mom’s sister in Chicago who said: “I have decided to take your Mom in and care for her. Can you make arrangements?”
I guess what He really wants is surrender, but I couldn’t have surrendered if I had not agonized first. Strange, isn’t it? Kinda paradoxical. Not everything in my life turns out so clear, but this really reminds me of the attitude I need to always have: All yours, God!
On the threshold of a New Year, what do you need to surrender?
I know I have my list.