I know a man who suffers from persistent, crushing migraines.
I spoke to him recently on the phone while he was in the midst of one, and in our minute long conversation he said in a faint voice,
I’m offering it up to God. May it do good.
And if you knew this man you would know he meant it.
My spiritual director once said to me, after I finished bitterly complaining at length about a certain trial going on in my life,
You once asked for God to increase your trust in him. Now he has given you a great opportunity to trust and is this all you have? God wants you to offer your trials up to him, not throw them at him.
This reminded me of a quote from St. Francis de Sales:
Many people would be ready to accept suffering so long as they were not inconvenienced by it. “I wouldn’t be bothered by poverty,” says one, “If it didn’t keep me from helping my friends, educating my children, and living respectably.” “It wouldn’t bother me,” says another, “So long as people didn’t think it was my own fault.” Or another would be willing to suffer evil lies told about him as long as no one believed his detractors.