Sigrid, Raw

[had this unfinished post in my drafts. i recall it was fun to write. felt inspired to post. be back next weekend.]

If I show I’m fragile
Would you go ahead and find somebody else?
And if I act too tough, know that I care ’bout you
I’m honest, no offense

No, I could never fake it
Like players always playing
Arrest me if I hurt you
But no apologies for being me

I am now a huge Sigrid fan, thanks to my daughter who introduced me to her last week. Sigrid is a Norwegian singer and songwriter who just hit the pop scene last year.

I like her because she is, as Maria says it, “authentic, honest and quirky.” Her music is not hyper-produced, the lyrics are plain, direct and reflective, and her look is natural. I hope she retains all of that.

I especially liked the song Raw, because it made me think of my wife. Patti, for those who know her, pulls no punches. What you see is what you get. She is truthful in the extreme, which is what I have always loved most about her. Whether it’s pointing out that I need to take a second shower before giving an evening lecture, calling me on the carpet for some inconsistency, or grabbing me by the tie and saying (when she saw I was filling my early morning prayer time with work), “I need you to be a man of prayer!” — she is, for me, grace in my face.

Patti is truthiness with lipstick and high heels. Once when I praised her for this quality, she said, “Well, when we got married I did say ‘I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad!'”

But the greatest part of her honesty is that it goes both ways — she welcomes it as much as she offers it. And that is something I find very rare in life, people who invite and welcome honest feedback. She will often say, “You don’t need to protect my feelings. I need to hear your perspective.”

But at the bottom of all such radical honesty — nakedness before the other — is unconditional trust. There can be no real honesty if you don’t have that in a relationship, don’t have the mutual understanding, guarded by love, sealed by a promise that the other person will never use your weaknesses against you; will never intend you harm; will never betray you; will never leave you, no matter what. Only when love is steeled by such a promise can you really get down and dirty, dig deep, be wholly free to be yourself and allow the other to be the same.

Of course, even with the best of intentions, without ill will, we do hurt each other. Reality. But even here the commitment to honesty rescues us, as I know I can admit my failure, my sin against her with unvarnished honesty and she will receive that and forgive me. Will give forgiveness which is not owed or demanded, but freely given to an unworthy recipient.

And let me say that kind of forgiveness brings you to your knees. Breaks your stony heart. Calls you out of your mediocrity toward the better. Honest love is a costly love, is a paschal love “caught up into divine love [that] leads the spouses to God with powerful effect.”*

So yes, it’s true. She, I just want to be raw.

*Gaudium et Spes #48

7 comments on “Sigrid, Raw

  1. Jennifer says:

    Oh, Patti!!! Love this so much!

  2. Br. Joe says:

    yes, “grace in the face” is a sine qua non in Religious life as well. Praise God for my bros!

  3. tmm says:

    Ok, Dr.TJN, so feeling this post in a poetic way, thank you kindly. With a little time to spare and without a dare:

    🐾Goodness gracious, when you’re in the raw
    🐾Oh what a challenge it is when you feel the pounce of the paw

    🐾But let fall from lips, as it is willed, the Holy Spirit’s Word
    🐾Taken to heart to be accepted as coming from God, as it is honestly heard

    🐾Yes, to hear from a sister or brother
    🐾Echoed from not “self”, but the “other”

    🐾True blessings can be found from the spoken words coming from on high
    🐾Even though they may elicit from us a deep and long sigh

    🐾Oh yea, by the tongue of the straight-laced
    🐾We can find ourselves at times supremely graced

    🐾A painful blessing in disguise
    🐾An experience where much hidden wisdom lies

    🐾A gift wrapped very nicely with a bow
    🐾Sometimes there is no alternative but to go with the flow

    🐾Gradually little by little, if we let it, the truth can be realized
    🐾Making a big difference as it is incrementally internalized

    🐾So let us welcome a different perspective
    🐾Turns out it’s the force in action calling one to be mindfully reflective

    🐾Impassioned in the now in all earnest to “self” explore
    🐾Motivation propels us further along to want to do that more and more

    🐾Truth bursts forth that lights up the soul with surges that wildly radiates
    🐾A thorough meditative engagement this process most certainly necessitates

    🐾Hot and heavy must be the feedback
    🐾Therefore, in regards to that, there can be no lack, not one bit of lack

    🐾Sitting in naked truth, to eventually stand in trust, and walk upright in knowledge and understanding makes it possible to keep it real
    🐾True love from within is the lone seal for the deal

    🐾The importance of its significance & the significance of its importance, in regards to tried & true honesty
    🐾Is the only worthwhile “for real” reality

    🚪Doors will open or close as God so wills, most certainly to вℓεss
    Repent and be at peace, with a contrite heart fail not to confess
    Then have no fear, cause letting Jesus in, no longer will life be a mess
    / \ tmm/PTL

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